Please Open Your Baskets

I'm a huge fan of the Food Network in general but I'm a particularly large supporter of the show Chopped.  Everything about it makes me giggle.  The participants, the judges, the anticipation of what is in the basket for each round - I just find it all so simple yet challenging.  While I would never compete myself on such a show as I'm pretty sure the pressure would cause me to collapse in a puddle in the pantry or fridge area, I am a great "couch contestant".  You sit on the couch remote in hand and watch with anticipation as these mere mortals open their baskets hoping for a great protein like lamb or duck paired with a robust red wine. 

You watch carefully and as they pull these unrelated items out of the basket to reveal a nightmare of ingredients which would never even be in the same household much less an edible entree. You pause the show. You look at the list on the left hand side of the screen (because this is where it is located) and you quickly plan your meal, how it would be prepared and you hit the play button. GO! 

It is at this time I choose my "pony". The honored contestant who has my undying support for the next 40 minutes and whom I hope will go on to become the next Chopped Champion (insert Chariots of Fire theme here - in your head - do it)!  I'm usually pretty good with picking my pony - 9 times out of 10 they win. I know in their hearts, they can feel (in the past) I am supporting them (from the future) and encouraging them to push themselves.  It's all very Back to the Future isn't it?

I have to say, 7 times out of 10 ONE of these contestants is making a fairly close derivative of my planned meal - and they usually win the round (I am currently patting myself on the back).  It is times like these when I am very pleased with myself and my culinary prowess from the comfy confines of my living room. Appetizer round - check. Entree round - check.  And then - dessert.  Now, dessert is always a major disappointment for me because inevitably one of the two remaining contestants makes a Napoleon or a Bread Pudding. WHERE is your creativity PEOPLE? "YOU'RE KILLING ME" is often what you will hear me yelling at the television (as if they can hear me and this hasn't been pre-recorded months earlier on a NYC sound stage).  Alas, they cannot hear me and my pleas for something more spectacular than a quenelle* of ice cream next to a brittle of some sort go ignored.  This is fine. I can't expect them to listen to me ALL the time (well I can but it is futile). I move on and accept that my pony may or may not live to tell the tale of their win on Chopped.

And then . . . the final cloche is lifted. 

You hold your breath and hope your pony's sad little excuse for a dessert isn't revealed. Were the other two rounds strong enough to help you through this round or will you be chopped? Well? Well? Aaaah - I can hardly stand it!  I LOVE this show!

Like I said, 9 times out of 10 my pony is successful and rides off into the sunset with a spectacularly over sized check for $10K that they can use to start their own restaurant (yeah, as if THAT's enough money), take their family on a much needed vacation or buy your girlfriend of 8 years that engagement ring she's been telling you she wants or she's leaving you for a CPA named Roger.

Ah, yes all's well that ends well in the food world and we live to cook another day.  A bit weathered and battle scarred, but now we can make a flatbread with black chicken, mashed potato candy, cactus flower buds and rose water syrup.

So I ask you . . . what's in YOUR basket?

*Demonstration of the Day: Quenelle refers to a food item made into an oval or egg shape, such as ice cream, sorbet or mashed potatoes.